i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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