i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Randomize
