I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
