38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
