Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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