I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
