Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
farters have to be the big spoon...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I got inside last night via doggy door
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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