Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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