non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
