My cat gives me a boner
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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