Pants 0. Shit 1.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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