is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
