do herpes really smell.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The air taste purple.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
