Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
