8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
