i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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