my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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