i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize