awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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