How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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