so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
