He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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