Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
