If i come over, it means nothing
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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