even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
