Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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