What a fucking waste of an outfit
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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