How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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