Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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