Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
