Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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