I hate your face
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
