Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
