Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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