Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
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just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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