I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
