Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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