You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
