Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
