Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Randomize
