You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
