You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
