new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
