things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Randomize
