physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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