dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize