so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize