dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
