yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
