Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
