Sry I called you an 8
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
