Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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