I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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