Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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