And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
