so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
