i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Randomize
