Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
