found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
